Army Veteran’s Memoir Explores Powerful Grip of Gambling Addiction

For years, Army veteran Brian Lofton was stuck in a downward spiral, being sucked under by the crushing weight of addiction and depression that nearly ruined his life. 

It wasn’t until Lofton found solace in faith, turning to God to help pull him from the brink, that he was finally able to turn his life around. 

Lofton chronicles his intense journey in, “Broken Boots, Redeemed Soul: A Veteran’s War with Sin and Salvation,” a refreshingly honest, emotionally gripping memoir that examines mental health and the fierce pull of addiction. Along with casino gambling, Lofton also battled problems with drugs and alcohol. 

The book, released in January, has garnered several positive reviews on Amazon. 

“The book is a candid account of the invisible battles many veterans face—untreated trauma, addiction, guilt, spiritual disconnection, and rock bottom—followed by profound restoration through obedience to the gospel and God’s grace,” Lofton told Military.com. “Readers describe it as ‘raw, real, and needed,’ ‘a light in the dark,’ and ‘gripping’ for understanding veteran trauma and faith recovery.” 

The Lure of Gambling

For Lofton, gambling – by far – has been the veteran’s worst addiction to shake. Just recently, he visited a casino near his residence in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. 

“With gambling, it’s like I quit one thing and then picked up another thing. I quit smoking but picked up cigars. And when I was in Germany, (in the Army), I started drinking alcohol pretty heavily,” Lofton said. “I would spend most of my paycheck on the weekends just drinking as much as I could to sort of reorient my mind into something else. 

Then after the Army, I had my first introduction to drugs … marijuana, cocaine, LSD … I wasn’t going to stick a needle in my arm, so I guess I drew the line somewhere. I’m not even sure what led me to walk through those casino doors, but that’s how it evolved. It kind of started with alcohol and then moved into drugs and then being in the casino, and the high I got from that replaced those other addictions.” 

Living in Oklahoma, with 39 Native American reservations, tops in the U.S., doesn’t help Lofton’s gambling habit. The Sooner State boasts 143 casinos across 33 tribes in 50 counties, more than any other state. 

“I literally can’t go from one town to the next without seeing a gambling facility, and new ones are popping up all the time, even in these small, rural towns,” Lofton said.

For someone with a gambling addiction, it’s the equivalent of an alcoholic living in New Orleans’ French Quarter. Temptation lurks around almost every corner. 

“Nowadays, you can’t spit without hitting a gambling facility,” Lofton said. “But even back in the ‘90s, after I left the military, there were more facilities around. Gambling is one of these things where it’s a lifetime battle. I quit smoking cold turkey and while I still have urges to smoke from time to time, gambling is terrible stuff.” 

A Life’s Dream Curtailed 

But for Lofton, Oklahoma is home. It’s where he grew up and fell in love with military life, playing “Army” in the woods as a kid near his house. He joined the Army before graduating high school in 1990, thrilled to pursue his dream. 

“I signed up for the Army Reserves and got into infantry because I wanted to be at the tip of the spear,” Lofton said. “I had the dreams of grandeur – I wanted to be Delta, you know. I wanted to be the best. Basic training for me was like summer camp because I loved it.” 

Having been raised by a very strict father, Lofton was prepared for whatever harassment his drill sergeants threw at him. 

“He was an old farm boy and had his ideas of discipline,” Lofton said of his dad. “And the training really didn’t really bother me because I was doing what I always wanted to do. It was a life’s dream. Man, I couldn’t have loved it anymore.” 

However, it wouldn’t be long before a promising military career turned sour, ending rather abruptly after three years. Lofton separated from the Army in March 1993 as a private first class. He was hoping to use his computer knowledge to work in combat operations, but develop a skill set to help him land a civilian job if he were to leave the military. 

He went into active duty, graduating from Fort Sill with honors, and was sent to Germany. What should have been an exciting time for Lofton developed into a nightmare. 

“Politics of unit life kicked in, and expectations weren’t flowing through. Ultimately, I tried to get reassigned to Korea and sent back to the infantry. I needed to get back to what I really love,” Lofton said. “Then one day, I had an incident where a roommate put a knife to my throat. And that wasn’t even the worst thing; there were some training incidents that generated some scars that, when they’re happening, you don’t really think much of them, then they start presenting themselves in nightmares and emotional outbursts that you just don’t know where they came from.” 

He was sent to Frankfurt for a psychological evaluation and was told he had a personality disorder. A judge advocate general met with Lofton, examined his case, and dismissed the results of the evaluation. According to Lofton, however, with no backing from his sergeant, the judge advocate approved his honorable discharge anyway. Lofton was free from military obligation.  

More than 30 years later, Lofton’s bitter breakup with the Army still rattles him emotionally.  

“When it’s your life dream, your whole life identity is around something like that,” Lofton said through tears. “And in the service, you’re in it 24/7. … It was a real destructive series of events and that transition back into civilian life was the scariest thing.” 

Falling and Rising Again 

Lofton’s memoir takes a sobering look at the emotional and spiritual toll of life in the military and unhealed scars. Lofton also believes his personal story of battling addiction will resonate with readers, especially in the age of sports betting, a multi-billion-dollar business that has lured millions more people into the throes of gambling.

“Man, I don’t know what this bubble is going to look like when it finally hits and the population is just decimated by (gambling) but I’ve seen the brokenness of people going in there and scrounging for quarters, begging for dollar bills and people getting into fights, lamenting about how they’ve spent their whole paycheck so they don’t even know how to pay the rent or their car payment,” Lofton said. “So, the life impact is just terrible, even for me today.” 

In his story, Lofton grapples with the crippling feeling of shame and thinking he was “too far gone” to be saved. But his book also provides insight into how he rose above his addictions, leaning on faith and finding a renewed purpose in life. 

When he’s not writing, Lofton works to help other veterans. As a senior benefits advisor for the Veterans Network Champions Club, Lofton assists veterans looking to navigate the complex system of applying for benefits. 

“As far as the story inside of me goes, working with veterans every day and helping them with their disability claims, and trying to figure out that process, I came to realize pretty quickly that we all think we’re broken, and everybody else has it together,” Lofton said. “That isn’t really the story. The reality is that most of us have a lot of shared life experiences, or how we process those experiences. So, I thought maybe it would be good to tell this story and let my shame hang out there to hopefully provide some hope for somebody to lean into because faith is the center part of my life.”